Soo I haven’t wrote on here in a while but I’m having a hard time. I’m torn up inside and I’m trying to hide it but it think it is making me worse. How can you trust someone with your love and in one second they blow it. Everything is completely different. How am I supposed to trust anyone in my life again with all the crap that has happened to me with stupid boys?

They hit you because they are drunk. They tell you the most hurtful things you could ever hear because they are drunk. Am I supposed to forgive and forget? Forgive and fix it? I cannot make the excuse “well he would never do that normally.. but he was drunk.” No I cannot pull that card and make that excuse because it is wrong. It doesn’t matter if you where drunk, it happened.

Do you know what it is like to be so scared you won’t leave your room? I don’t go to class, I don’t go eat, I need to do laundry. But I cannot. I’m stuck here. I don’t know what to do. And it is because of all his friends, not him. Tell me why is everyone mad at me when I was the one who got beat up? You say its because they are on your side.. WTF ..you hit me when you where drunk!! Note to self: that’s wrong. I’m the one with bruises all over and I have a swollen temple. You might say we are on his side because you hit him too..Well, yeah I might have hit him across the face but what else was I supposed to do?? He was throwing me up against my car and broke off my license plate with my body. SOO stop sending me hate notes and calling me names because I wasn’t the one who got soo drunk and hit their girlfriend. I hit back in defense, I was scared. So STOP looking at me like I’m some kind of outcast, like I’m a criminal. Stop writing Bitch/hore notes on my door. STOP. I didn’t do anything to you, so leave me alone and your retarded to hate me because I hit him back after getting thrown on the ground and car.. I know he’s your friend but he F’n hit me when he was drunk. Why would you stand up for that? You should be mad at him for acting like that. This situation would be a lot better if all you all (josh’s friends) would stop torturing me. I’m having a hard time as it is getting through the emotions of the situation and you have to go and make it worse for me. I don’t even want to leave my room. I just ask please stop, I did nothing to you. Stay out of it. I know his your friend, but he did something wrong..dont you see that? why did everyone choose his side and im left with no one? that doesnt make sense. im glad to know i had true friends. thanks

What a Beautiful Disaster I am

With all my heart and strength

~ gina

Currently Listening Don't You Fake It (Deluxe Edition CD/DVD) By The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus see related

Here it is….

Well..basicaly I want to go home…I miss my puppy and a big soft bed..healthy good food that actually has a taste..i’m sick of spaghetti. I DON’T EVEN LIKE SPAGETTI and I basically eat it every day..oh and salad..I need a variety people!

I’m not really over whelmed its just I want a break and I want to go home..but yesterday I had a stressful day because my sorority contacted me saying I was on academic probation and I FLIPPED!!! ..like I cried for an hour..how do I go from a 3.7 student and the next semester I’m below a 2.5??!!! Heck no.. So I stressed and figured things out and since I’m a transfer student they didn’t have things right..sooo I’m okay now.

I’m on the Delta Zeta (my sorority) Flag football team and we won the Championship game for intramurals yesterday night so next weekend we get to travel to Kansas to play regional’s and nationals, which is pretty sweet. We got a big trophy and a t-shirt. We also played in a Powder-puff all day tournament a few weeks ago and we dominated that as well and got a HUGE trophy (like seriously its under my arm pits..its tall). I also play for the soccer team and we’ve only had two games but we’ve won them both. I like this winning streak we are one..hopefuly we can keep it up for our soccer team. I’m in a soccer tournament this weekend.

Also this weekend my mom and two aunts are coming down to visit because its parents weekend for DZ sisters and we are having a fantasy dinner and real auction to raise money..PLUS….we are going to eat at Lamberts Sunday because its my….

21^st BIRTHDAY MONDAY!! Heck yeah and Brandy’s is the Tuesday after. We are a day apart which is always fun. A bunch of us are all going out to celebrate on Thursday night at the ICON.. it will be a good time.  

Other than that last week was homecoming which means no sleep..i went to bed every night of the week after 3AM!! Yeah..Xchanges, working on the float, getting up early for classes and for the parade.

Themes for exhanges was..

Monday: MY TIE..the guys dropped of there ties and you just picked one and incorporated it into your outfit and at the dance he finds you its he’s your “tie date” for the week.

Tue: PJ JAM..i went as a “Shaker” along with some other girls..

WED: Pig tails and Pig skins..i was a catholic school girl

Thurs: wear what you dare..and I wore a trash bag…lol..it was so cute and I tied a huge bow in the back.

Fri: we just worked on the flaot and we had pumkin pust all day from noon till 3 AM.

SAT: was Parade and homecoming football game

Sat night was PUB CRAWL and I was a 80’s dance aerobic teacher.

PICS on FACEBOOK

SO I just got done with a busy week that’s prolly why I just want to go home and take a break.

Well I think that’s enough of an update.. I love you all and sorry I haven’t been on here in like a year.

MUWAH

Your love and mine

~ gina anderson

ive been so busy i forgot i had a xanga

sorry!!!!

Currently Listening Coco By Colbie Caillat see related

sooo..havent been on here in a long time.

lets see....um..ive been sick for 3 days

i leave for school in 27 days

i'm supper excitted for school to start and to move away to MSU with my bestie

happy birthday to angie..she turns 19 today

yes indeed..i'm the clever one who left brandy that voicemail she posted about

i'm broke

i finaly..may i repeat finaly i get my laptop THIS FRIDAY MORNING!! wo0t..

i got my hair cut short like 3 weeks ago

ive made two PMS cakes with in two weeks

i'm going floating again..but this time only for a day and with more excitting people..MOSAIC crew..i promise i wont come back hurt this time

i love mosaic..iv been going by myself lately

i need a devotional book

i love Madi and Kailey Utley

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i know i deserve better

i wish i had more confidence in myself..i used too but it all went away somehow

i love to dance ;)